1. A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. ~ Author Unknown
2. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~ Arthur McBride Bloch
3. How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? ~ Nigel Rees
4. I have six locks on my door in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ~ Elayne Boosler
5. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~ George Ade
6. You can't have everything... where would you put it? ~ Steven Wright
7. He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. ~ Harry Kalas
8. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~ Author Unknown
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